It’s Miss Lillie here. Mr. Attitude Man and Ms. Techno Lady have been on the road this week and they didn’t take me with them…bummer! How dare them! However, I was at the lake at my grandparent’s house and they think I’m wonderful. Did I mention that they’re pretty smart people?
"This was a year ago...notice one is thinking about grabbing my ear!"
I know I would have been a big help to my parents. Their excuse was, “The hotels where we’re staying don’t allow dogs!” Well LA-TEE-DAH! This is always a sore spot with me. I know for a fact hotels allow those ear grabbing, tail pulling, pesky, two year old twins, Kenzie and Maddie, to stay in their hotel, and I’ve seen them in action. They can destroy a room quicker than any dog I know.
I heard Mr.Attitude Man tell about the last time they took these girls to a hotel. The twins turned over the ice chest, dumped a poopy diaper on the carpet, spilled milk in the bed and put the TV remote in the toilet. Yet hotels have the nerve to say “No Dogs! They’re too nasty!” But I digress…and possibly Mr. Attitude Man exaggerates.
"Yes, I lov'em but they bear watching!"
Sometimes I feel I don’t get the respect I deserve. It may have something to do with the fact that Mr. Attitude Man thinks horses are the smartest animals on the planet. Yeah, he grew up on a ranch and spent a lot of time with horses…or what we dogs call, “Big Overrated Galoots!” He talks a lot about “horse sense.”
I looked in Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary under “horse sense”. It referred me to “common sense” which said, “Sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts.” No where did I see that only horses possess this ability.
Let me run a few things by you and you be the judge. Can horses play ball? Can horses catch Frisbees? Can horses mark their territory? They probably do but are too dumb to know what they’re doing.
Can horses be “house trained?” Would you want to share your bed with a horse? (Did you see the movie, “The Godfather?”) Mr. Attitude man thinks I’m a “cover hog”; let’s see what he thinks when he sleeps with Mr. Ed! Of course, horses have the excuse, “We sleep standing up!” My question to them is, “Why?”
Can horses curl up in your lap…and give you a loving lick? Well, they might be able to but you ain’t gonna like it! Can horses give you unconditional love? Can they lay at the door waiting for you to return because they missed you?
"Mr. Attitude Man when he was about 4 years old...in dog years!"
However, I believe in giving credit where credit is due. Horses do allow humans to crawl upon their backs and then they proceed to carry them to a destination of the humans choosing. Mr. Attitude Man talks a lot about his days growing up on a ranch and riding horses all day, rounding up sheep and cattle.
But he also talks a lot about his two Border Collies, Dog and Guante, making every trip and doing most of the roundup work. I would have liked to have met them. They sound cool. Of course I think I’ve got a better deal than they had…it’s not like I have to work for a living!
I don’t want to start a war between horses and dogs. I understand that a horse could wipe me out with one kick (now that’s what you call “dog sense”). But I would like for dogs to be respected for their intelligence. Yeah, I know…horses are probably pretty smart as well. And it’s alright with me if Mr. Attitude Man loves horses. If I was that big and ugly, I would need all of the loving I could get too!
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Miss Lillie:
As usual, you have a solid case, backed up by credible data. I’m so glad you had such a good time with our grandparents. Here’s an idea: Report “Mr. Attitude Man” to the DPS*, then go live with them full-time. I’d wager that they stay home quite a bit, and if on the road, would care enough to check-in ONLY at those hotels where you are welcome!
Before you “check it” to him, though, remind him of what horse sense REALLY is–it is nothing more than “stable thinking!”
Arfs to you for a great day!
Mr. Newbury, thanks for the good advice and I like the “pet friendly” hotel idea. And I like your “stable thinking” line. I got it! I may have to explain it to Mr. Attitude Man.
Hey Miss Lillie, Mickey and Pico here, wuff to you. Since we are real ranch dogs, and are still alive and working, we can tell you that nowadays dogs rule. Things have changed from when Mr Attitude was in the saddle. After all, you don’t see any movie stars carring horses around. Thanks for setting the bi-pods straight once again. Looking foward to seeing you and for a good wiff.